Appetite for Innocence: A Dark Psychological Thriller Read online

  “She was the one asking questions. We didn’t do anything to get her riled up,” the man says.

  I cover my ears. His voice is too perfect. Too calm. Just like John’s. I don’t want to think about John.

  SARAH

  (NOW)

  I rip out the cords they’re trying to attach to my body and pull the mask off my face.

  “Where is he? Have you found him? Please tell me you’ve found him?”

  The EMT tries to push me back onto the bed. “Just relax. You’re safe now. He can’t get you here. You’re safe now.”

  I frantically shake my head back and forth. “No! No! No!”

  They don’t understand. They don’t know him.

  “Please, you’ve got to let me go. You’ve got to let me out of here.” I struggle against his arms. “Please, let me go!”

  They don’t have any idea what they’ve done. I told Ella not to do it. Told her not to try. She didn’t listen. She should’ve listened to me.

  I’m screaming now. I can’t help myself, but I don’t recognize the sound of my voice. It’s someone else. Someone who doesn’t belong to me. There’s too much movement. This space is too close.

  “John!” I scream just as I feel a sharp sting on my arm. I fall back onto the bed. My head is swimming. Swirling. I can’t catch my thoughts. My lids are so heavy. I can’t fall asleep. But the darkness is so powerful. I have no choice, I give in.

  When I open my eyes, I’m in a hospital room. There’s a police officer sitting in a chair next to my bed. A needle taped into my arm attached to an IV bag. This is all wrong. It’s not supposed to be happening.

  “Where’s John?” I search the room as if he might be hiding somewhere out of my sight, waiting for the perfect moment to grab me.

  They have to know he’ll find me. He’s not going to just let me go. Not like this. He won’t stand for it.

  “I’m Officer Malone.” The police officer stands and walks to my bed. He has to be at least forty. Maybe older. His dark hair threaded with slivers of gray is cropped close to his head. “And you must be Sarah?” He sticks out his hand.

  I cling to it. “Please, you don’t understand. You have to let me go. I can’t be here.”

  His brown eyes fill with tears. “Look, I have two daughters of my own. Right about your age too. And if either of them had been stolen by that monster, they’d be terrified too. I want you to know that I’ll protect you like you’re one of my own. He’s not getting into this room.”

  “So, you haven’t found him? You don’t know where he is? He’s still out there?” My voice raises a pitch with each word.

  He shakes his head. “Unfortunately, he did a pretty great job destroying the crime scene, but we’re going to find him. He couldn’t have gotten far.” He grabs my other hand. He leans in close, holding tightly to both of my hands. He has a broad nose. Full lips. “I can promise you one thing. We will find him and make sure he’s punished for what he did to you girls.”

  He knows there’s others? Ella made it? I can’t believe she made it. How did she get over the gate? The sound of the alarms still rings in my ears. I’m not sure it will ever stop. I’ve never been as afraid as I was when she pushed through the door and the alarm went off, not even the first night I stayed with him and I didn’t think I could ever be more scared than I was that night.

  “The others?” I ask.

  “Yes, your friend Ella is two doors down.”

  I wouldn’t call her my friend, but I want to see her. I have to talk to her.

  “Can I go to her room? Can I stay with her?”

  “For now, we’re keeping each of you in your own rooms. I’m not exactly sure why the hospital set it up that way, but I can definitely talk to my boss about getting both of you in the same room. Would that make you feel better?”

  I nod.

  “Are you sure you’ll find him?” I ask.

  “Honey, I’m not going to quit until I find the man that did this to you.”

  I wish I believed him, but he doesn’t know John. Nobody knows John. Not like I do.

  ELLA

  (THEN)

  I exhaust myself screaming. I think the girl, Sarah, is right. Nobody can hear me down here. When I woke up, the other girl, Paige, was sitting on her bed reading a book. She’s reading a book in this dungeon like it’s perfectly normal. Why aren’t the other girls tied up? How come I’m the only one?

  I try to sleep, but it’s impossible to sleep when your limbs are melded together. There’s no comfortable spot. Every time I move, another part of my body cries out in pain.

  I am so thirsty. My throat is on fire. I’m afraid to ask them for something to drink, though. What if they put something in it? But I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. My mouth is so dry my lips are sticking to my teeth. My tongue is taking over my entire mouth. Eventually, I’m going to have to drink. The body can’t survive without water. That much I know. I don’t know how long I’ve been down here. It’s hard to tell when there’s no light. I’ve never lived without light.

  And it’s so quiet. Painfully still. I strain my ears for sounds. A voice. A car. Train whistle. The sounds of traffic. Any clue as to where I am. There’s nothing. I listen so hard it makes my head hurt.

  Am I still in the city? The same country? Did he put me on a plane?

  My brain is foggy.

  I remember everything right up until the car. The car is where it gets fuzzy. The images blur together. The fabric over my head. Heavy and rough. It made me itch. I couldn’t breathe. I puked. I might have peed myself too. I’m not sure.

  My smells permeate the air around me. It makes me want to gag.

  I moan through the thick tape covering my mouth. Sarah put it on again after I wouldn’t stop screaming. Paige begged her not to, but she wouldn’t listen.

  “She’s giving me a headache,” she said. “Help me hold her down.”

  “I’m sorry,” Paige said as she sat on top of my legs while I bucked.

  Sarah planted herself on my stomach, pinning my arms above my head. She peered down at me. “It doesn’t have to be this hard,” she said through gritted teeth, her face lined with exertion. “We’re not trying to hurt you, but you have to listen.”

  “Then, get off me! Let me go! Please! What are you doing?” I thrashed back and forth, but they held tight.

  “Just calm down.”

  I heaved my legs up, throwing Paige off me. She tumbled onto the floor next to my bed. Sarah wrestled on top of me. Paige scrambled back up.

  “Stop, please!” Paige yelled. “She’ll call him and he’ll come down here. You don’t want him to come down here. He’ll chain you up.” Her eyes filled with the same terror that surged through my body.

  I let myself go limp. Sarah quickly slapped another piece of thick tape across my mouth.

  “There,” she huffed. “Be quiet or we’re all going to end up in trouble.”

  I sat on my cot out of breath like I’d just one run of my cross country races.

  Sarah is still behind the curtain. I think she works for him, but I can’t tell. Who are these girls?

  I study Paige as she reads. She looks younger than me, but it might just be because she’s so tiny. She’s wearing a pair of black sweat pants and a plain white t-shirt. Her hair is cut short, a cute pixie bob framing her petite face. She has a cute button nose, pointing up at the end. Her fingernails are painted pink. She looks innocent, but a few hours ago, she was pinning me down so she can’t be all that innocent.

  I need water. I think I’m going to die if I don’t get something to drink and I can’t die. I have to stay alive long enough to figure out a way out of here or someone to find me. Mom has to be frantically searching for me by now. She probably put together one of those crews they do when a child goes missing. I can’t imagine how worried she is. I always come home on time. I don’t break rules. It will destroy her if I don’t make it out of this. All I have to do is hold on until she finds me.

 
I make an exaggerated coughing sound to get Paige’s attention. She turns to look at me. Her eyes are green and covered by dark lashes. Her skin is soft and clear. She looks like a doll.

  I try to communicate with my eyes that I want her to take my gag off. I promise to be quiet, but my words come out muffled.

  “Sarah?” Paige calls.

  Sarah sticks her head out from behind her curtain. Unlike Paige, her hair is long, tucked up into a messy bun on the top of her head. Her face is square and angular with perfect cheekbones like the ones you see on models in magazines.

  “What?” she asks, clearly annoyed.

  “I think we should try again,” Paige says.

  Sarah walks over to me. She’s taller than I thought. She’s long and lean with a confident and poised strut. She’s wearing the same black sweatpants and white t-shirt as Paige. She towers over my cot where I lay curled up.

  “Are you ready to be quiet now?” she asks.

  I nod my head and try to look compliant.

  She tears off my tape. I don’t even flinch this time. She doesn’t move from her spot. Her hands are on her hips.

  “We aren’t the enemy,” she says.

  I’m not sure I believe her.

  “Can I have some water?” It hurts to talk.

  She walks back behind her curtain. This space is tiny. It’s smaller than my bedroom at home. When she returns, she’s holding a water bottle.

  “Can you untie me?” I ask.

  She shakes her head. “Not yet. We have to be sure you’re not going to hurt us.”

  They’re smart. I’ve already tried to figure out how to overtake them.

  She brings the bottle to my lips and pours. I gulp it up hungrily. Some of it spills out of my mouth and onto my shirt, but I don’t care. I’m just so thirsty.

  “Can I feed her?” Paige asks.

  “I don’t care,” Sarah says.

  She hands her the water bottle. She goes behind her curtain and comes back carrying a box of crackers. They’re the Saltine kind Mom feeds me whenever I have the stomach flu. She tosses them to Paige and then leaves us alone except it’s not as if we’re really alone because her sheet is so close to Paige’s cot she could reach out and touch it if she wanted to.

  “Do you want a cracker?” Paige holds one up tentatively.

  I shake my head. My stomach is too twisted to eat. It’s coiled in on itself.

  She munches on a few herself, taking a few dainty bites. She brushes off the crumbs that fall on her bed.

  “I’ve been where you are,” she says. “I know how it feels.”

  She has? Really? Or is she trying to trick me? But the fear in her eyes was real when she mentioned his name. Whoever he is. I’d never seen him before last night. Can she help me? Maybe we can help each other.

  “How old are you?” I ask.

  “Fifteen.”

  I would’ve guessed thirteen but she’s only a year younger than me.

  “How did you get here?” I ask.

  “Same way you did.”

  She was running too? Did he ask her about his lost dog?

  “Did he ask you if you’d seen his dog?”

  She shakes her head.

  Of course he doesn’t have a dog. None of his story was real.

  “He asked me if I knew his daughter.” She stares at the wall as if she’s seeing something I can’t. Her gaze is faraway. “I was walking home from the library when he took me.”

  Relief washes over me. I’m sorry she’s been kidnapped too, but there’s something comforting about not being alone in this.

  “Where do you live?” I ask.

  “I lived in Phoenix,” she says.

  How did we get here together? I’m from Aurora, Colorado. Phoenix isn’t even close.

  “But I’m from Colorado...”

  She shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know how that part works. I don’t even know where we are. We could be anywhere.”

  Panic washes over me.

  “Do you–we just stay down here?”

  Her eyes fill with despair so real I could touch it. “No.”

  Hope rises in my chest. If we get to go outside, maybe I can escape. “When do we get let out?”

  She shakes her head. “We don’t ever get let out, but he does take us upstairs.”

  “What’s upstairs?”

  She picks her book back up. “You don’t want to know what’s upstairs. It’s better down here.”

  SARAH

  (THEN)

  I listen as Paige takes care of business for me. She’s doing a good job explaining things to her. There’s always a million questions. Who are we? How long have we been here? Is there any way to get out? Who is he? What does he want? Can we escape?

  Paige has one thing wrong, though. Upstairs is way better than here. I hate the basement. It’s not even a real basement. It’s an old wine cellar that he gutted to create this prison. There’s so much stale air and the walls feel like they’re closing in on me. I hate the smell. It always stinks no matter how many times I clean or how careful I am with the toilet. When the upstairs door opens, it’s the first time I can breathe without feeling like I’ll choke on the air.

  Being down here with a new girl always reminds me of what it was like when I was new. At least these girls have someone to talk to and help them figure things out. I didn’t have anyone. It was just me. Me and the darkness for days. I thought I’d die from the loneliness and never-ending silence.

  Not to mention the boredom. You start to go crazy after a while when there’s nobody to talk to and nothing to do, especially when you’re used to living in the outside world. It takes a while to forget the old world. I started to talk to people that weren’t there. I made up all sorts of people to have conversations with and created things to do to keep myself busy. I tore off chunks of foam from the wall and meticulously picked out pieces of it until I made a family. It took me lots of tries, but I did it. Once I’d built my family, I started working on other characters, seeing if I could create different things—horses, dogs, trees. But then he noticed the holes in the walls and was furious because he thought I was trying to escape.

  He ripped into the holes, clawing at the foam until he exposed the brick underneath. “See this?” He pulled my head and smashed it up against the wall. “This is brick. There’s no tunneling out of here. This isn’t Shawshank Redemption.”

  I hadn’t even considered trying to dig through the foam and into the wall. All I wanted was something to do with my hands and to occupy my mind. He didn’t know what it was like. He wasn’t the one who had to live alone in a dark basement.

  “I wasn’t trying to escape.” The tears flooded my face. I hadn’t learned how to swallow them yet. That takes a lot of practice. “I just wanted something to do. It’s so awful down here with nothing to do.” My voice sounded small. Like it did when I was a little girl.

  After that, he started bringing me coloring books and crayons. They were the first gifts he gave me. I’d always hated coloring before, but I devoured them. I colored every page. Sometimes twice, going over pages I’d colored with different colors. I felt like a toddler, but didn’t care. There wasn’t anyone to see me doing it anyway and it kept me from going stir-crazy.

  These girls don’t know how good they have it. It’s nothing compared to what I went through. I fear the day he decides to take everything away and goes back to doing things how he used to do them. That’s why I work so hard at keeping them in their place. They don’t understand it. They just think I’m mean, but they don’t know what it used to be like or how much worse it can get.

  I wonder how long this one will take. He didn’t say anything to me last night when he carried her down. He used to but he doesn’t anymore. I’ve learned the routine and I don’t ask questions. He hates questions. I know my place. I’ve worked hard for this place.

  I’ve already missed The Today Show and Dr. Phil is on now. I really wanted to see the gambling addict he was going to have on t
oday. I should’ve thought to record it, but I didn’t know he was going to go on a run. Usually, I do and then I make sure to record my programs for the next few days so I don’t miss anything. It gives me something to look forward to while I wait down here. But he didn’t tell me he was leaving and didn’t give me any of his usual clues. No bags packed. No itinerary taped on the refrigerator. He was barely on his computer and he usually spends hours on it before he grabs another girl. He was just gone. I was as surprised as Paige when we heard the door open long after he’d locked us in for the night.

  ELLA

  (NOW)

  She races through the doorway, pushing the officers out of the way.

  “Mom!” I cry.

  She throws herself on my bed, wrapping herself around me.

  “My baby! My baby!”

  We sob together, forming a giant wave. She squeezes me so tight, I can barely breathe, but I want her to squeeze me tighter. I want to disappear inside her body. She is solid and strong. She smells of comfort the way she always has.

  She pulls me back and cups my face in her hands. “It’s you! It’s really you!” Her eyes are a mixture of pleasure and pain. “I was so scared I’d get here and find out it’d been a huge mistake. I was so scared to hope. I didn’t want to be devastated all over again. But it’s you. It’s you. You’re really here. My Ella Bear.”

  I sob like I will never stop. She plants kisses all over my face, drinking in my tears. I cling to her shirt. I’ll never let her go again. She pulls me close again and I inhale her chest, taking in the sweet smell of her. She rocks me back and forth just like she did when I was small.

  “Mommy...”

  I haven’t called her mommy in years.

  “I’m here, Ella Bear. I’m here.”

  I can finally rest. I’m so exhausted. I haven’t been able to sleep without being woken by paralyzing terror in months, but I fall asleep in her arms—a place I never thought I’d be again.